How has
the increase of ‘helicopter parenting’ affected the well-being and success of a
college student?
Works
Cited:
Padilla-Walker, Laura M., and Larry J. Nelson. “Black Hawk
Down?: Establishing Parenting as a Distinct Construct From Other Forms of
Parental Control During Emerging Adulthood." Journal
of Adolescence 35.5 (2012): 1177-1190. ERIC. Web. 3 Oct 2015.
Schiffrin, Holly. “Helping or Hovering? The Effects of
Helicopter Parenting on College Students’ Well-Being.” Journal of Child & Family Studies 23.3 (2014): 548-557. Academic Search Complete. Web. 7 Oct
2015.
This
article helps define the negative and positive aspects of over parenting more
clearly. The article is titled “Helping
or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on a Students’ Well-Being”. It agrees that control of behavior leads to
better behaving children. However, it argues that children of parents who
attempt to control them psychologically end up mentally damaged in the
end. It goes on to explain that these
kids are more likely to act out in school when they are young. They are more likely to be depressed, and
unable to handle stressors. They also
tend to have trouble with anxiety and self-determination. This article defines something called the
“self-determination” theory. It outlines
three needs that are innate in human nature.
The first, and most important need is the need to make your own choices.
The second need is to feel confident in your own ability. The third need is the need to have genuine
loving and caring relationships. According
to this article these three needs must be met to increase one’s well-being, and
over parenting may inhibit the ability for children to achieve them.
Prior to research, I thought that
over parenting has mostly, if not only negative effects (being a kid myself
still, my opinion is definitely biased).
This article further influenced my thoughts on this. However it also helped me realize that there
is a distinction between hovering parents, and parents that are genuinely helping
their child. Not every parent has the
same intentions, and not every parent knows that they are hurting their child’s
well-being. It also helped me distinguish
that there are more than one type of parental control. Some of which have positive effects and others
with negative effects.
Parents often have different
intentions regarding how they parent their children. Some may do it out of love and the fear of
them being hurt in the real world.
However others may do it out of the simple desire to maintain control. The previous article I read “Black Hawk Down?”
(short for “Black Hawk Down?: Establishing helicopter parenting as a distinct construct from other forms
of parental control during emerging adulthood” claimed that children of parents
who could be classified as helicopter parents had different reactions depending
on the intentions of the parent.
Children of the loving and caring parents maintained very strong relationships
with their parents. The kids of a strict
and unloving parent begin to resent them.
However this article “Helping or Hovering?” (short for “Helping or Hovering?
The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on a Student’s Well-Being” does not argue that
it is the intentions that determine the well-being of the child, but it is the
type of control. The article explains
how when a parent controls bad behaviors of a child, that child tends to be
better behaved in the future. It makes sense,
a parent punished their child in hope they won’t repeat whatever negative
behavior it was. When a child is controlled
or hindered psychologically (i.e. parents having a say in a child’s
major/career, parent intervening with roommate issues) he/she is left damaged. When a parent tries to control a child’s
decision, he/she is left feeling helpless.
When a parent intervenes in unthreatening life conflicts like a roommate
dilemma in college, the child does not learn basic skills like communication
and problem solving and is therefore less prepared for life and less able to
deal with life problems and stressors. I
argue that it is both
the intentions of the parent and the type of control that determine a child’s
well-being. There are some parental
controls that when done with love can be considered helpful to a child. For example, having your child text/call you
when they arrive wherever they were driving.
If the parent is doing this out of love, the child will understand that they
are just worried for them. It will make
the child feel important and safer and it in no way hinders the development of
any major life skills. If the parent is
strict and shows no love/compassion to their child he/she will think that they
are just trying to maintain control of him/her.
This will lead them to feel tied down.
However a parent that intervenes in a roommate dilemma, whether out of
love or not, will be hindering their child from developing those skills and therefore
negatively effecting his/her well-being.
This
article led me to see that helicopter parenting has many positive and negative
aspects. Depending on the parent, the
negative or positive aspect will outweigh it’s counter-part. So my question about “Can helicopter parenting
be determined as a positive/negative effect on a child’s well-being?” has been
answered. The answer is no, there are too
many variables. It can be positive or
negative depending on the parent. So my
new question is: “How has the increase of technology affected the amount and
severity of helicopter parents?”. I want to find an article more specific to the advancement of technology.
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